


taken away to the dark side (i wanna be your left-handed man)

by eatyourturretout



Category: Guitar Hero, My Chemical Romance, Overwatch (Video Game), Starbucks - Fandom, Taylor Swift (Musician), Vance Joy - Fandom, the mcdonalds hashbrown fandom
Genre: Battle of the Bands, F/F, M/M, eating ass, non-canonical character death except every game where reaper dies, sucking dick, taking names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 03:58:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9159787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatyourturretout/pseuds/eatyourturretout
Summary: "The vague aspects of all the courses of reasoning which had been sketched out by his meditations quivered and vanished, one after the other, into smoke. He only felt that, to whatever course of action he made up his mind, something in him must die, and that of necessity, and without his being able to escape the fact; that he was entering a sepulchre on the right hand as much as on the left; that he was passing through a death agony,— the agony of his happiness, or the agony of his virtue."Reaper learns; learns to love, and learns to lose.





	

HI MY name is gabriel reyes darkness dementia raven way and i have short dark hair and a black cloak and i habve a black eye i punched myself people say i look lik gereagrd way (if u dont know who geregrd way is then get the fuck off) e jack morrison even though im not related to him because hes  FUCKING NARC (a/n: if you dont know who jack morrison is then Get fuck out of Switzerland!!).

 

Anyways i was standing on watchpoint gibraltar on a snowy day and some overwatch heroes saw me, i put my middle finger up at them.

DUMBLEDORE“Hey gabriel!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was….. Jack morrison!

“O GDOD I FUKING HATE JACK MORRISO FUK THSTA MAN AND HIS BLONDE HAIR ADN THAT SMUGASS GRIN AnD WHITE HES UGLY” i yell

My best friemd, amemlie lacroix, took a smoke from her smoking stick (a/n dont smoke(. “Damn.” she said. “He reminds me of……….Gerard”

“Gerard who?” I asked “Gerard way?”

“Ya”

“I fuckin love Gerard way hes so hot by te way i love o////o 

men” i said

“Okay settle down” Amelie took another hit. I wanted to share but amelie never shares with me because she says it might set the stick up my ass on FIRE

“YOU MOTHERFOKERS!!!!!”

No smoking in my lawn

IT AWAS.

DUMNLORBORE!!!!!!!  *gasp*

Just kidding it was reinhardt. lol He offered me a beef Sad 

corned beef is meat yeast infection

Nwi

“No thank oyu, REiNdeer. I only want a SADWICH” geddit because im emo. Smoke a JOINT asswipes

Amelie took another hit from her spider haped bong. It had eight vape holes and she took them all at once like a badassbong (the ass is the pipe)guys

Emma where u go

They searched frantically for emma who dissapeared in the night like a  **_tender_ ** ghost (much like TORBJORN DID TO ME LAST WEEK)

thaks ema

Anyways jack morrison than fucking  _ PREP _ came up to me and asked me on a  **date** to the shooting range. “You can play with  **_my guns_ ** ;););)” he said really fuckening seductively.

“No thank you” I said “I  _ love _ men not guns”

Jack leaned in  _ real _ close to my ear and whispered…..

“The  **gun…………** ..is my………… _ …  _ **_big_ ** ass  **_DICK_ ** ”

I gasped..   _ Wow _

Sers

Anyways we went to the gun range and  _ jack morrison _ started  _ crying _ because he accidentaly hit himself in the eye with a gun and he thought his pretty boy looks would be gone  _ forever _ . fFuckin  **_preps_ ** .

 

Suddenly I got a ring on my telephone. It was …………..  **MCCRUNK**

“Howdy howdy pardner have you seen my cockwarmer, Hanzo? he was gonna suck my McDick”

“No I have not please do not call me ever again”

Mccree started to cry because we used to be friends back in Blackwatch ( and i have  **_salso_ ** suck his mcdink) but blackwatch was a an orgy of PosERS. Talon is the SHIT!!!!!! (Thats our band name)

 

I got another ring on me phone. It was………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!sombraa!.

“Hola,  _ bitch _ ” she said

“Hi sombra”

“I hacked into gerard way and now theres agonna be a my chemical romance concert at ecopoint: australia” where the fuck is that, i thought to mmineself

“NO WAAAAAAAY!!!!!” I started crying into the phone. I would haul ass to , mideveil, austria for gerar **d way’s sweet dickass any day because im reaper and I** **_love_ ** **men. S o mcuh i wold do anything for a good dick in my ass**

**Jackson mmorty looked over at me. “Did u say my chemical romance???” He said. “I Love mcr!!”**

**“NO YOU DONT” I SCREAMED AT HIM AT THE FFUCKING PREP  “ YOU ONLY LIKE Tje tAYLOR SWIFT and hozier”**

**Jacky started crying to  Love StoryTM  by Taylor SwiftTM because he knew i was right. (** **https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xg3vE8Ie_E** **ps this is there SONG!!)TM**

 

While jack was crying his ass  **_into_ ** taylor swift i . stopped to remember how much i love men have i mentioned how much i jsut LOVE me a GOOD mom (mercy please heal me) (mercy please succ me HEALS)

 

That night we (talon the punk band) were practicing for our new Battle of the Bands versus those OVERWATCH preps (more like OVERRATED!!! Sombra came up wit that). We (talon) are going to play “Teenagers” by MY Chemical Romance ™  beacuse we are Teens ™ and we are Edgy ^™ .

Anways I suddenly turned to Amelie and Sombra. “Hey dont call me GABE anymore call me….” I thought really hard for five mintues.

“REAPER!!!!!!! HOLY SHITT” I screamed because I loved that name. And Jack y Morrison would never know.

“Ok dude” Amelie said taking another hit from her bong. That bitch never ran outta weed. She grew it in that big ass of hers

Sombra  (hackergirl69420666 please follow her on stackexchange.com) blew a huge ass bubble with her bubblegum. Bytheway I should tell you about TALON

I AM (REAPER and i love men) the lead vocalist for TALON because I am good at Screaming

Amelie thought for a moment and then said “hey since I killed my husbnad (my cockwarmer) I should be the widowmaker”

“Makes sense” Sombra said

Amelie plays lead guitar and keyboard at the same TIME because she has eight arms like a snowman (with eight arms)

Sombra plays drums i think. Like the guitar hero drums but theyre not hooked up to anything theyre jst there and she bops them wiht her hands.’

We started playing TEenagers. Which is good even though Amelie is like 35. I grabbed the mic.

“THERE GONNA CLEAN UP YOUR LOOKS>.... WITH ATLLL THE LIES IN THE BOOOKS>>>>> TO MAKE A CITIZEN OUT OF YOU!!” i stopped singing.

“Hey you know who this song reminds me of” I said and thought of a warm cock in my ;) **_winking ass_** (leg eyes)

“Jack Morrison” Amelie said

“Jack - FUCK YOU AMELIE” I said. “ I HATE JACK MORRISON”

“You hate him so much u want his dick in ur ass” She said….she and Sombra highfived. And then started to furiously makeout

I started crying because Talon can be really mean and so I ran out of our base and went to the 7/11 by our house. Who else was working there but……. TORBORN

“H̴͓̠̤̩͕ͭ̔͌͡Ę̪̰̜̬̹̅̌L̡̟̠̱̻̦̻̒̿ͪ̍̆̋̈́̕L̶̶̜̱͔ͩͩ̓͒ͥͅƠ̷̶̪̻̈ͥ͌ ̸͓͙͇̮̼̯̣̩ͭ̀͜C̢̧̼̜̤̭̱̄͂H̠͙̭͉̩̰͕̎̄̀̚̚̚͟͞Ḭ͙̜̲͖͍̣̱ͫ̍̀̇̅͒̈͟͞ͅO̽ͭ̎̏̎͋̓̏̕҉̮̱͓͍̤̠L͎͎̫ͣ̏̋͊ͧ͗̽͒D̉̔͢͏̜͍̱̕ͅ ̴̖̝̬͋ͯ̌̎̋͊ͬC̛͙̗͛̄̂̄̆Äͯͦ̇͋ͣ̆҉̡͉͈̺̠ͅN̸̢̧̮͉̥̿͋̉ͭ̓ ͮ̋͟͡҉͇̺̠̭̹͓ͅI̶̢͖̠͕̱̤̳̠ͯ̇ͥ̾̍͂ͅ ̶̫̭̱̬͉̄͛̐̏͛I̪̼͔̥͎̟͂̊͑̋ͤ̈́̅ͩ͜N͓̭͍̽̏ͫ͗̿Ț̲͚̣̫̾͌ͥͯ͠Ȩ̨͔̠̔̅̓̕R̸͈͙͂ͣ͂̋̀̿ͥ̐͘S̠̞̩̠̠̰̱͉̏̈́́T̨͓͇͖̩̠̱̼ͣ̋ͩͥ̔̚ ̵̡̪̗̤ͮͥ̃̒̿ͤ̂͝Ȳ̺̙̞ͯ̈́̀͞O̷̡͇̣̟ͭ̄̕U̱̩̟̦̞̅̀͢͢ͅ ̸̼̰͕̠͕̞̃̈́I̢̬̯̙̹̙̙ͨ̌̌̏ͨͦN̼͉̮̣̯̤̎̄̉͑ͦ͋̈͢ ͙͓͇͚̲̞ͦ̽ͥ̕͝ͅƠ̧͎̥̠̠͂̓ͩͮ͊̊̎ͦSͮͨ̈͐̈ͣͣͩ҉͇̫̥͉̙̥̯M̸̧̩͉͓̰̣͙̰̫͒ͣͤͯ̔͆̑͘Ẻ̡̛̟͈̲͔̣̐̓̍ͫͨ͐ͭ ̴̯̮͍̦̤ͮ̓͠Ḧ̐҉̫̜͓A̹͉͖͍̜̥ͣͫ͊M̖̺̱̾ͦ͟ ̰̠͓͎̜̦̲͆ͭͬ͐̈́͆͐D̷̳̘̠̫̰̗̠̘̋̓̀͘Ō̶͖̿R̍̑͆̑͂̕͡҉̜̪̭Ì̷͈͎̖͍̼͇̿̎͂̾ͦT̗̮̈̐̋ͮ̔͑͊O̪̫̫̬͉͉͎̲̭ͨͦ̉̀̕S͔͉̗̣̘̍̑̐ͩ̄ͅ”

“No thank you sir” I said and immediately shot him in the face with my  **_BIG GUNS_ ** and then I threw them in the trash. Andn then just to spite him I ate his doritos loaded nachos that his turret had cooked up.

Suddenly, I turned around, faced with the guilt of the sin I had just committed. An innocent dwarf’s blood was on my hands; a man with a rich life, a loving family, and multiple - just kidding I have no ragrets. FUCK torbjorn. FUCK my wife

 

I went to the mountain dew section of the 7/11TM@BEYONCE but hana song was already in there  **_chugging_ ** .

“Where is jack” I asked her

“Jack who” she said back

“Jack morrison”

“I dont know him” she said. I started to cry.

“But I know a man named…...Soldier Sixty-nine” She said. I looked up…. Only the  **_GAyest of gays_ ** could be a soldier of the 69.

“Hes an old-ass man tho” Hana aka D.va said and went back to playing minecraft.

 

I looked in the mirror. Suddenly, I had...become Reaper!!!!!! I was wearing a cool mask from Party City, some black towels, and a badass pair of boots! Also i sometimes did not exist but was instead a ghost.

“This is badass but  _ how can I suck dick without a body????? _ ” I said to myself

I turned around. In the seventy-six eleven was… a manbot named… ZENdaya!!!!

“Experience tranquility” he said

“I would like to experience  _ a dick in my mouth _ but I am afraid it is impossible” I cried to him, spilling out my soul.

“Fear not, my son” he said, wiping my  gay ass tears off my face. “If you believe in yourself you can suck dick. Ask Gengi(gerards adopted brother)rard way” and then he floated away. I had to find GE(rard way)nji!!!!

 

I naruto-ran out of the seventy-eleven with my cloak looking really cool behind me. I then ran into the nearby starbucks where there was an altercation.

 

“Sir” the barista was a fucking prep and yelling “No tiddies in my store”

“FUCK TYOU!” A man yellled. With him was MCCREE, that fucking POSER!!  
“Babe” he said “I need yaall to calm down i didn’t get gold membership for you to get kicked out for showing some tits”

Hanzo started to cry and the tears ran down to his nipples. The barista gave Mccree his gingerbread mcfrappe and then left.

“Excuse me” I said to Hanzo but NOT TO MCREE (POSER) “do you know genji”

Hanzo took a deep breath

And another

And then he started crying

More.

“What the fuck did you just say to him, you fucking  **_bnoner_ ** ? I’ll have you know -” Mccree SCREMT but i shut him up.

“ **_Vance JoyTM_ ** is NOT an emo band mccree so stop talking!!” He started to cry too.

As hanzo was crying this mofo in a metal suit flew down to us.

ITS………  **_bulosaur_ **

“Hey handszo,” he said “its me genji im bad from mcdonalds i brought you your hashbrowns”

“IRON MAideN” I hollerED “TEACH ME HOW TO SUCK DICK”

Iron man looked at me “I cannot”

“Why not”

“I am a robot….he is a robot...We do not succ...but I know someone who can help you”

“Please Ill do anything”

“Her name is…..Tracer!!!!! She is good at dicksucking” iron man winked at me.

I naruto-ran to England where tracer lived. Then I knocked on her door. She was wearing flannel and drinking whiskey

“OI LUV WHOS KNOCKING AT ME BING BONG DOOR?” she asked

“Its me Reaper, YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.” I said

“YOU WOT M8?” She said but let me in anyways

“PLEASE EXCUSE ME GIRLFRIEND AND I, WE WERE JSUT SCISSORING (thats how lesbos do u know whut)”

 

“ nasty “ i said because i did not want a girlfriend( i love men btw) .i want a boyfriend Also i did not want to fuck scissors because what if my dick got chopped off, ouch???????? L esbeanbians are scary By alton brownTM haha get it chiopped 

I knelt at tracers feet like I was gonna suck DICC Jack Morrison I HATE AJACK MORRISON THAT UGLY WHYT MAN HE IS A NASTY MAN I MEAN GERARD WAYS(GENGI) DICC. 

“Who” i cried “Is soldier 69696999696969664209 ”

“Hes me dad” tracer said

“What the hell”

“Lemme call him for u” tracer said and pulled her phone out of her pussy yikes

“Oi pops i got a man here for u” she said “ok thanks luv”

“Did he…” I whispered… “crying?” because if he could birth….a child…. How could I suck his dick? You know what they say about men who have birthed children ( **_MPREG_ ** ), they lose their dicks after the pookie is born “Birth you”

Tracer laughed “Nah mate im just having a laugh lesbians arent born” “we come out of the ground. Like gnomes

TORBJOR A LESBIAN  CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Like  a  flower” i said in awe. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

“Thatll be the soldier” tracer said, blinking to the door even though it was five feet away what the  _ fuckck _ .

Tracer opened the door. I braced myelf for the hottest man alive…….soldier sixty NINE my ass…..

 

Tracer opened the door

He was tall….his hair was white...he wore a mask to cover his handsome face… he was wearing….

 

Cargo SHORTS (ew)????

 

“Wadda hell??” I said”  **_BULDODOSOUAR_ ** !”

“Hey tracer i was just going golfing(the gay term for testing out anal beads before purchasing them)”

“SUCK MY DICC” I cried “OR MAYBE iLL SUCK YOURS looked at me

. “Tracer please leave this is no place for children” Tracer left even though it was her apartment

  
  
  


ALL A SUDDEN, WINSTON BURST INTO THEROOM AND SMAHSHED A BARREL ONTO MY HEAD KILLING ME INSTANLTLY.

Rip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6EoRBvdVPQ

In the two seconds before I died I looked at soldier 76 and cried “you never got to make death come”

Everyone is rip

The funeral is beaustiful it was a wonderful service. Bastion spoke and got player of the game for it. Amelie put a black rose on my carcass because she knew I was emo til I died and would HATE red roses because ( i prefer rose buds(inside out assholes)) one time JACK MORRISON gave me a red rose and  IHATE JACK MORRISON.

 

The end.

THE END. <3


End file.
